How Much Are You Resisting Being You?
by Guest Writer Kim Dietrich, kimdietrich.ca
In the December 2nd episode of her Creating Abundance with Ease radio show, Dr. Helen Gitlevich asks us to consider how focusing on the desires and judgement of others can keep us from living our lives to their fullest potential. During her show Helen’s attention is diverted repeatedly by the antics of her little kitten Bella. It’s a fitting metaphor for her message: emphasizing playfulness and expansion as life-path for us to welcome in new possibilities and greater joy.
Returning to the Energy of Childhood
How much are you actually hiding who you are based on the fears of judgement? When did you start taking on the judgements of the adults around you? We are naturally magical beings who are connected to the universe. That is most evident when we are young, but as we move through life we learn to react and contract according to the judgements of others. From adults we learn how to behave and how to work hard. As we grow into adults, we learn to focus on DOING. The problem is, as we lean into ‘doing things properly’ we often lose sight of BEING.
Don’t confuse BEING with inaction, Helen says. Being is about making choices based on our inner feelings in the moment. As with her kitten Bella – who takes action based on how she feels in the moment – Helen explains, we should focus less on doing and more on being.
Programming, Fear and Reaction
Unlike animals, humans we often react to the thoughts, feelings, emotions and judgements of others. In our romantic relationships especially, we make assumptions about the wants and desires of our partner and react accordingly – instead of being who we are. Helen shares how she felt completely out of touch with her own desires upon leaving her marriage. Having spent years living in reaction to what she thought her husband wanted from her, she had to rediscover herself. She re-learned to make choices in the moment when she was introduced to the tools of Access Consciousness.
A lot of what we do, and much of the way we react, is based on our programming from our childhood. We’ve been programmed to act a certain way, often driven by fear of somehow ‘being wrong’ or being judged by others. These fears develop into powerful self-judgements – manifesting in ongoing, negative inner dialogue. These judgements are lies, Helen insists, and she recommends the clearing statements of Access Consciousness as a powerful tool for shifting and clearing them.
Shifting out of Resistance
Just as we can limit ourselves by living in constant reaction, we also get stuck in a place of resistance – refusing to move forward, saying no to the very things that would bring us joy and ease. To illustrate her point, Helen recalls a favorite movie called “Yes Man” in which the miserable protagonist has his life transformed when he’s forced to say yes to all requests for a time. Helen asks us to consider how different our lives could be if we did the same. What could we create if we began to say ‘yes’?
When We Refuse Happiness
Happiness is just a choice, Helen says. She puts forward the example of a happiness-themed Access Consciousness Class that ended up being one of the least popular offerings. The reason? We often resist happiness, she explains. It’s self-defeating because it’s really there for our choosing. All we have to do it choose it.
We can step into the lightness of choosing to ‘be’ instead of remaining in the heaviness of ‘having’ to do things. Helen draws attention to her kitten Bella playing in the background. A playful being, Bella exists as most animals do, in a place of being, in the energy of playfulness, following her desires and not caring what anyone thinks. We could learn from her energy Helen maintains. If we approach our own lives with that same lack of concern for the judgements of others and choose to be attuned to our own desires we can create more joy for ourselves.
Living a Life of Joy
Helen pretended to be perfect for years – today she’s better at choosing joy. It’s in nature – by the mountains or alongside the ocean – where she feels most herself. Something about being in nature, Helen says, allows us to drop our barriers, expand our energy and simply focus on being. When we step into that space of expansion, we exist in a place of joy – not an ecstatic, ‘jumping-up-and-down’ joy, but rather the quiet joy of simply being.
Our reality doesn’t always have to be serious and important, Helen asserts. While you may experience anger or irritation going through your day, what if you smiled at people in spite of what you felt? Rather than constantly being serious-minded and approaching life’s events with the heaviness of significance, what if you chose joy and playfulness instead? Instead of resisting and reacting to everyone and everything what if instead you chose to just be you? When you move out of resistance and into the energy of playfulness and expansion, you create so much more joy. In that place, Helen offers, you can start truly living.
Kim Dietrich is a content writer specializing in personal and career development.
Check out her print and online work at kimdietrich.ca.